3 SIMPLE WAYS TO CARE





23OCT18


We’ve all been there. Someone is unloading, dumping their problems in a conversation, a text message, or all over Facebook. What’s our next move?? Let’s take a look at different ways we’ve responded. I’ll be the first to admit I’m guilty of these responses.


THE ESCAPE ARTIST


As the conversation turns to the unleashing of problems and uncontrollable emotions, the Escape Artist sinks down in their chair gradually. Inside they are panicking & start to sweat with the onslaught of emotions & problems. Looking around for the closest exit, they utter a few short replies as they strategically escape the room or turn the conversation into a new direction.


THE JUDGE of FACEBOOK


As the Judge of FB is sprawled on the couch vegging out on Facebook, they see such and such post how they’re really upset and need prayer. The Judge sighs and thinks, “Who am I to pray? My problems are just as bad. Only I don’t post them on Facebook. People need to keep their problems to themselves.” *Scrolls to next Facebook post* “Ohhh look! Cute video of puppies!!” *Hits love button. Forgets about problems momentarily.*

THE FIXER UPPER


Portraying engaged facial expressions, but feigned listening; the Fixer Upper is ready to pounce excitedly into the conversation with a solution to the problem. They reply, “I’m gonna go talk to such and such! He shouldn’t treat you that way!” or “If you would just do it this way, then it wouldn’t make you so anxious.” Inside the other person is stewing and thinking, “Thanks, thanks for not listening to my feelings and caring about my feelings. Did I mention my feelings???”


BIBLE VERSE LADY/GUY


Reading a troubling text message, The Bible Verse Lady/Guy responds, “You shouldn’t feel that way! The Bible says God is always with us, you’re never alone, don’t be angry…” Blah, blah, blah is what is interpreted by the other person on the other side. Exasperated, they wince at the scolding text message from the Bible Verse Lady/Guy and think, “Thanks for the guilt trip. Now I feel worse for being angry, sad, depressed, upset…..” and the list goes on.


THERE ARE 3 SIMPLE RULES TO FOLLOW WHEN CARING ABOUT SOMEONE


1. Do not fix

2. Do not scold

3. Do not correct


These rules were established by Caring for the Heart Ministries founder, John Regier. Pastor Greg incorporates them into his connect-to-care assignments for his counseling couples.


Do not fix someone’s problem unless they ask for it to be fixed. Do not scold someone for their feelings. Do not correct how someone feels about a situation. Their feelings are always true of them.


CARE & COMPASSION JESUS’S WAY


Merriam Webster defines care as “painstaking or watchful attention,” “to feel interest or concern,” to "have a liking, fondness, or taste.” Compassion is “to feel the distress of others.” The opposite of care and compassion is to disregard, abandon, judge, and reject. It’s ignoring another’s needs, focusing on our own desires & problems, or being angry with someone & their issues.


As we listen to another person in need, we can remember God is the counselor, not us. Our strength and wisdom come from Him. He is the only one that can heal a person’s heart. We don’t have all the answers, the power to fix everything, or a perfect solution; only God does.


Prayer is the best tool when listening. We can ask God to give wisdom and comfort to the one in need. As Phil 4:6-7 states “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Jesus is the only one who completely understands the person, their situation, & their emotions. He alone can heal their heart.


PRACTICAL WAYS TO SHOW SOMEONE YOU CARE

-Listen to understand, not to correct, scold, or fix


-Spend quality time together


-Be willing to forgive as love covers a multitude of sins


-Accept them wherever they are


-Encourage by leading them to Jesus who can heal & forgive


-Sympathize with their pain


-Tell them they matter


A person who cares realizes their own weaknesses and faults. Luke 6:41 states “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye.” A person who cares does not look down on the one in need, but realizes there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).” Jesus loves them no more, no less than where they are now.


In the comments below, do you have someone who has truly cared about you? I’d love to hear about it.


Much love,


Emily